Counting down the days...commence the dramatics

I’ve lost touch with my ability to write and reflect well. My mind seems to be in a constant state of confusion and curiosity. Both states have made it increasingly difficult to focus on what’s in front of me and remain focused once I get frustrated. I’ve gotten in the habit of resorting to nonsense articles and internet videos to blotch out my confusion instead of relishing it and finding solutions. I feel defeated most days at my lack of creativity. I hope I’m not alone in this sate and perhaps this muddled mind is just a side effect of pursuing an accelerated graduate education on top of working full time, completing an internship, and managing a marriage and rot relationship with my parents.

At this point I feel overwhelmed and dazed. The reliance on coffee, energy drinks, and fast food doesn’t help given my bodies negative reaction to the abuse by form of weight gain, breakouts, unnecessary body aches, and anxiety. I can’t wait for this to be over. 

At times I feel incredibly guilty and selfish over my feelings towards the culmination of this degree. I am very conscious of the opportunities I've been granted. It's difficult however to remain appreciative of something that resembles less a privilege and more a mentally and emotionally draining self perpetuating abuse. My words might be dramatic but the sensation and feeling is sincere. 

Simplicity is truly a most undervalued privilege.